january 26th, 2008. the day i moved to new york, FOUR whole years ago…
four years ago today i moved to this crazy, ridiculous city that i now call home. i am trying to muster up something to write, some words to say, but i am finding nothing. and i think that’s because after four years my life here in new york is normal. it almost seems as if there is nothing much to commemorate at this point. but yet, i will power through and write this post because, well…I’ve written one for the past three anniversary’s that I’ve celebrated here so why not add a fourth?
(new york anniversary posts can be found here: Year 1, Year 2, Year 3)
last year i compared living in new york to an education and the four years it takes to get through college. i remember last year saying that the next year would be like my senior year and therefore has to be the best! well, i guess I’ve completed that senior year now. and i guess it’s also safe to say that i definitely had a serious case of senior-itis. although the past year has been amazing (hey, i got married!) it also had some seriously low points. i grew very apathetic with new york city and felt myself disengage on many more than one occasion. i felt that itch to move, to have a house and a car, to be closer to friends and be able to have dinner parties, because right now we have no table and no space for that kind of stuff! i felt friendships grow rusty and my commitment to our church and organizations wane. but you know what, new york is really damn good at doing that to a person. new york plays both the devil and the angel on your shoulder. one side saying “this place is awesome, stay here!” while the other side is constantly whispering “this place sucks!” I’ve had to learn to get out of my head a little bit and to be content with where I’m at now. i think once i made those adjustments and got through my head “hey we’re here for now and that’s ok!” i fell back into a good, steady rhythm and found myself even desiring to get plugged back in. my job here has really been a blessing. i feel comfortable, happy and purposeful and have made some good friendships here at the office, as well. clif and i were re-invigorated with our church, Redeemer, through the Catalyst program we did last fall and in the new fellowship group we’ve just recently joined. we also have some new friends that just recently moved here and it’s been really fun to see the city through fresh eyes! i remember what that felt like, just four short years ago…
not having a clue what was in front of me. moving into a studio apartment in Chelsea and having absolutely NO CLUE at the time that it was the coolest, nicest place to ever live and that i would one day look back and say “i can’t believe i actually lived at 16th & 7th ave.” thinking i was coming for one internship and ending up at another. learning very quickly that things change fast here in this city and you have to think on your feet and become extremely adaptable. not knowing a sole except Jennifer, my first roomie (who is still a dear friend of mine) and actually not knowing her all that well either, but nonetheless moving into a studio with her and sleeping on the floor about six feet away from her on our first night together in new york city. the radiator pipes kicking on about three a.m with that sound of clanging pots and pans that scared us both awake! i remember saying “what is that?!” which now seems hilarious because everyone knows that radiators in new york apartments are loud and old and rusty and you just have to live with it. i don’t think i even had a winter coat or snow boots. and we got so much snow that first winter. i remember walking down the block to the subway entrance in the 4 degree weather with the wind whipping against my face and then talking to my friends who said stuff like “it’s 70 degrees in Texas today.” thanks a lot, guys! i remember having to learn the subway system and the first few months when i carried around a subway map (how un-cool i felt doing that, too) and the first time i got on the uptown train when i meant to go downtown and immediately realizing it as the doors shut with their chiming sounds, signaling it was too late to hop off. dang it! walking into my first church service, alone, but feeling excited and hopeful and immediately realizing i loved the body of Christ in new york city. it was different than anything else I’d ever experienced (and still is) and discovering all over again what it means to understand the gospel and to live that out in our everyday lives. making friends, meeting interesting people - crazy intelligent people and hilarious, funnier than i’ve ever met people and creative-minded geniuses who saw the world differently and thought about things on a deeper level. these people challenged me and pushed me and made me re-evaluate my life and my interests. and for all of these things I LOVE NEW YORK (even though i cannot afford to love new york, yet we do it anyway) and i am grateful to new york. it is for these reasons, and a million more, that we stay here, that we take the subways every morning and every night, that we dish out thousands of dollars for rent even though our apartments are tiny and the super’s are jerks. i love the people, the diversity, the buzz, the excitement, the hopefulness, the brokenness, the inevitable changes and the things that always stay the same. i don’t think there is another city in the world that can make you say and feel (on a daily basis) i HATE this city…i LOVE this city!! new york drives you crazy all. the. freaking. time., but for some reason, i love it…
*meant to post this yesterday but didn’t get around to it
